I Walk Through The Valley            

When I left off, I was a reformed drunk trying to learn a new path in life, and from that point I can say that I really have. I have been working in the construction industry now for years, and though many of my coworkers may still not know me, I can say that I have learned a lot about life through them. See, as I opened with in this blog, I live a pretty solitary existence, and most of it is by choice. I get invited out with the guys, I sometimes go to bars with them to watch baseball games, but I don’t order beer. I must seem like the weird one out of the group, and this fact doesn’t escape me. Maybe that’s why I work on this blog. It’s a secretive way for me to allow at least someone else to get to know me. I don’t have the capability to get into conversations like most other people, because a lot of my life has been, well, boring.

From the orphanage to Expedite Construction I haven’t accomplished a whole lot. I was in an orphanage, I got out, worked a bunch of lowly jobs, got drunk a lot, and then stopped. It’s a story I can share with most people in five minutes, and I can see the lack of knowledge concerning where to take the conversation next on their faces. I would rather people had to guess. What if they thought I was some kind of government spy, or an undercover boss watching their every move? It sounds stupid, but that’s a life that has some interesting stories.

I share my thoughts and feelings on here because maybe somewhere out there, there’s someone who just came back from work, who’s reading this and can connect to it? Maybe there’s someone else out there who doesn’t know how to begin to share. And if that’s the case, then I’m not totally alone in my thoughts and feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not depressed, I love my life, my job, the Expedite Construction family I have, I just don’t know how to express that in a way that doesn’t seem boring. Call me introverted, heck you’d be right to do so, but I’m ok with that, and maybe you are too, and we can be fine in that assumption together.

I’m not sure where to bring my blog from here. I feel like I’ve done a pretty decent job introducing myself and sharing what’s been going on in my mind. I hope that you can still follow from this point though, as I move into day to day stories, or things I observe. We can call it an introverted guide to the world, or at least one persons viewpoint of it. No matter where I go from here, it’ll always be better than being back at the orphanage, and even though I miss some of my friends from there, I’m sure they all have their own stories going on.

Answered Prayer            

After moving up through the ranks of low paying jobs that took too many of my hours away, I started to learn about the other side of the orphanage gates. And in my ever growing wisdom, I found out about alcohol. Yeah, there of course is at least one vice in this story of a little orphan boy learning about the world. I was nearly 21 when I had my first drink, and I didn’t have my last until I was 26, and I don’t think a single day passed in those years where I didn’t have at least one drink in my hand. I was never the rowdy type, never took out drunken anger on strangers, I just found that it was something to do in the meantime while waiting for my life to seemingly start.

I didn’t drink as much as some of the people I knew, but there were days. I would wind up waking up in the morning with little to no idea what had transpired the night before, and would promise myself each day that it was the last. Until the next day anyway. This series of repetitions kept up for years while I worked through one meaningless job after another. I had no idea where my life was going, or even what it all meant by this point. At the orphanage they don’t really prepare you for life outside of it. It’s all about what you’re doing in that moment, and not about whether or not it would ever end. Eventually though, all things come to an end, and you’re left there wondering what you’re going to do next.

This is what happened when I found myself being fired for drinking on the job. I had never been the type to do so before, but I guess everyone has a milestone that they will inevitably reach, and mine was allowing the alcohol to affect my work life. I was jobless, and only had a fridge full of beer to my name. I invited a friend over for a form of pity party, and after a few drinks he asked me what I thought about heading down an actual career path. He was working for a company called Expedite Construction, and was telling me about all the benefits of his job. I had no skills in manual labor, but I had a need for money and a will to turn things around.

That was the last night I had a drink. When I started apprenticing, I found myself with less time. My brain was being filled with all this new information about things I had to learn, and now I would get home so tired, that all I did was go right to sleep. It wasn’t for at least a month that I had noticed that I didn’t drink anymore. It’s funny how my salvation from alcohol came from chatting over beer bottles, but that’s what happened, and I found myself on a completely new path.

Atonement            

You may look at my life and see a lowly construction worker. I wake up early, I gather my things, and leave my solitary apartment. I do manual labor all day, I eat out of a food truck and then go home at the end of the day, tired, have a beer, watch some baseball, and typically fall asleep early to do it all over again the next day. My life isn’t one of excitement, or even that much fulfillment. I enjoy my job, or I wouldn’t slave away at it for modest means. But my life wasn’t always this mundane, it used to be a lot worse, and not worse in the sense of boring, but in the sense that I was a worse person.

I grew up in an orphanage, St. Anthony’s, it wasn’t like in the movies you see, no creepy fathers, or chastising nuns, it was just boring. We did lectures, we did communions, and I was raised with the bible in one hand and a cross in the other. A lot of the orphans who wound up there I figure were probably being groomed to join the priesthood themselves, but I knew at an early age that it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t into the pious living, and celibacy sounded like a worse punishment than being sentenced to hell.

Any trouble that I got in growing up was mostly fooling around because I was bored. I didn’t seek out breaking the rules, but often in the course of trying to find something interesting to do, some of them may have gotten broken in the process. I wasn’t a thief, or violent, or anything of that nature, I was just a kid with a lot of energy and nowhere to put it. We didn’t get your standard teaching at the orphanage either, sure we got math, and English and history, but all of it was through a veil of religion. History taught us that evolution is stupid and that the Earth is only a few thousand years old, and this is what I believed until my teens.

It was on my Eighteenth birthday that I got released from the orphanage. No adoption, I don’t even know if any families looked at me never mind thought about adopting me. I went through my life in the orphanage, and then it was over, I was on my own now. It didn’t take long to get a job as a dishwasher, and then one as a waiter. I eventually worked my way up crappy little jobs, until I found myself where I am now. If you’re looking for a story with a bunch of hardships, well, this isn’t it. I have had my trials as all of us had, but for the most part, I can say that my life has been fairly mediocre. It wasn’t until I found myself in my current job that I found something I was actually passionate about, which is the subject of this blog.